"I heard you quit because you didn't get a jersey."
I followed my sister into volleyball. Having just moved from Bellflower, I was hoping that I could make some friends or have some fun. I missed a month of tryouts, and I was a pretty horrible player. The coach kept me on the team because my sister was in varsity, and he believed she would work with me. I was told that I probably wouldn't play in any games and that they ran out of jerseys, so I had to wear the white one. I was fine with all of that. I was glad I had the chance to prove myself. I tried hard every practice to improve so I wouldn't be cut. And prove myself, I did. By the last two games, I was a starting hitter. I had my own jersey. But it didn't feel as good as I thought it would. I thought that if I tried hard enough and finally succeeded, I would start enjoying myself. I was wrong.
A few months after season was over, a new round of try-outs started- this time for a JV spot. Being short, I was sentenced to the role of a back row passer by the new coach. If I had cared enough, I would have argued for a spot in the front. If I had cared enough, I would have tried harder at passing. But eventually, I realized that even going to practice filled me with a sense of dread. I was afraid of messing up, so that made me mess up even more. It was difficult for me to even serve over the net when I could do it before.
At the end of tryouts, I was told that I could stay on the team, but I would once again not get a jersey.
I didn't quit because I didn't get a jersey again. If I actually liked volleyball, I would have settled for anything, as long as I could stay on the team. Not getting a jersey just finally made me realize- I don't want to be here. I don't have to be here. Why am I here?
Sometimes, you have to realize that doing something just because you don't want to be a quitter is not enough. If you do something just for the sake of doing it- if you're not going to do it with some heart and passion- then you should ask yourself why you're doing it at all.
Sometimes, it takes more courage to quit than it does to keep going.
Yes, I quit volleyball. I don't regret it.
Comments (1)
Yeup. Everything takes heart. No heart, no point.